“Pastor, it just feels like none of us can get a break.” I hear this lament from more folk than I can count. Some days I feel it to my bones, too.
Recently, I was practicing Lectio Divina with some other leaders. The practice has you repeat a passage of scripture or writing multiple times, listening with your whole body, letting a word or phrase rise up for you. It happened to be on a passage in the Bible about Jesus and the Disciples “almost” being swamped by a storm and the word “almost” is what rose up for me.
We spend much of our lives in “almost” spaces. It is "almost" a new year, we "almost" got in a car accident, "almost" made a bad choice. What is striking is that when we live in the almost spaces, we miss out on where we are right now, who we are with, what is happening right now. When we live in anticipation or rear-view replays, we cannot be fully present to this moment. And we will never get this moment back.
I have noticed in the weeks of sitting with this word that an awful lot of anxiety rises up around the things we connect to our “almost” thoughts. Yet in reality, almost is not done, it is not a given. It is just a possibility — a thing that didn’t or may not happen — kind of like those speed rail pylons.
Considering that none of us will ever get back this moment we are in, why would we waste the precious time we have on what has not happened or may not? Don’t get me wrong, planning and preparation are important. However, they are not the same as this “almost” thing we tend to do.
As we settle into our new year, let’s try to live in it, instead of looking back or in anticipation of what may not come. Let’s be present with one another, putting our phones down, turning off the TV, seeing one another. Let’s soak up the curl of our lovers hair, the sweet smell of the new baby, the twinkle in our best friends eyes.
The things of life will keep happening, the world will keep churning out news and weather. Our choice is what we will do with all of this. Will we center our spirit and heart, being present right here with one another, or will we live in the almost?
May your new year bring you a heaping measure of awareness of this moment.
