Hello? Wednesday? Is it you my dear friend? Why yes it is!
Coffee it is for me this morning Jente. My husband comes in from work at 6:45 a.m. and straight to make me his wonderful cafè.
Would you all be surprised if I told you this week's question came from a man? Well it did. And his question was something me and my husband have talked about many, many times.
“Where do I start. I’ve been with my wife for a good minute and I cook, clean, run the kids around to school, sports, friends and before this COVID to birthday parties. She wants to hang out with her homegirls all the time or be at her mom's. I wouldn’t trip but she never does anything else. I’m tired, what do I tell her?”
Man, o man amigo. Tell her to move out with her homies or mom! OK that wasn’t nice of me. Truth of the matter is that this behavior isn’t OK on many levels. Let’s focus on the big problem and that’s that you are not happy. Sit down and talk to her. I mean really talk to her. Tell her exactly what’s on your mind and before you talk to her have an ultimatum. Whatever you want it be. As easy as “Your taking the kids to school from here on out.” Because what has happened is that she has gone as far as you allow. When people disrespect us it’s only because we have allowed it, and this behavior is disrespectful.
My husband does all those things you do, but I do them as well. We’re a partnership. We have to help each other out, cause if only one is doing all the work than what is the other half really doing?
It’s so easy to not do things especially of someone else is covering the other things. The thing here is to catch the issues before they have gone on too long because then it is so hard to convince the other person that you are not OK with the behavior because you have been OK with it for this long already.
So talk to her let her know everything that’s on your mind and this isn’t OK. Stay true to what you think and how you feel.
Janie Isidoro is a local author and owner of the bookstore My Corazon – Libros Y Cultura, located in downtown Hanford. Email her your relationship questions to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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