I was going to review "Hellboy II" this week, but it really comes down to this: If you liked the first movie, then the sequel is even better and go see it. If the original bored you, then bugger off, because you have no taste. There, that said, I'm going to review a book. Yes, a book.

You remember those, don't you? Made of paper, bound by glue, filled with words? They were what passed for entertainment before videogames, summer blockbusters and HGTV filled our lives.

I have this weird on-again, off-again relationship with reading. When I'm in the mood, I read voraciously, devouring pages by the hundreds, ripping through dozens of novels in a couple weeks' time.

Then comes the down period, where I try to read, really want to read, have a book I've just been dying to get my hands on, and, at best, I can manage two or three pages before -- hey look, "Lost" is on!

So, when the reading mood hits you dear readers -- and why not, you're reading right now -- then pick up a copy of "The Lies of Locke Lamora" by Scott Lynch, one of the best fantasy novels around.

Yes, a fantasy novel. For me, that's usually an immediate turn off. When I think "fantasy novel," I think "Lord of the Rings," which featured entire chapters dedicated to the origin of Hobbits. I don't care where Hobbits come from. I'm a lazy, Generation Y slacker. I want something to happen!

And believe me, a lot happens in "The Lies of Locke Lamora," a book best described as "Ocean's Eleven" set in Middle-Earth. Minus the Hobbits.

In the great city of Camorr, there is a secret peace between the Duke and Capa Barsavi, head of the criminal underworld. The rules are simple: As long as the crooks leave the aristocrats and upper-class alone, the city watch won't make any major arrests. Simple, elegant and everybody wins.

Until you throw in Locke Lamora, a young orphan raised by a master thief to become one of the most devious con artists in the city. Leading a group of tricksters called the "Gentlemen Bastards," Locke targets the nobility at every turn, stripping them of the riches that keep them far above the common people working below.

In the group's latest scheme, Locke and company are posing as wealthy merchants from another country, trying to trick rich noble Don Lorenzo Salvara into investing large amounts of money into an investment scam designed merely to line the thieves' pockets.

Things grow complicated when a figure known only as the Gray King begins assassinating key figures in the underworld, bringing Locke's group under scrutiny. Who is this man and what does he want? And also, why has a hawk been following their every move toward the ultimate heist?

"The Lies of Locke Lamora" works on many levels, most notably of which for being a great heist novel that even non-fantasy genre fans can get into. There are no elves, orcs or dwarves here. With the exception of a little magic, the world Locke Lamora inhabits is really just the Italian Renaissance and the Age of Pirates on another planet. It's alien, sure, but the focus is not on the place, but on the characters themselves and why they do what they do.

The book switches between chapters from Locke's current heist and complications, to his time as a young orphan learning to pickpocket and steal to survive. From there, we move into his training under Father Chains, a brilliant thief posing as a priest who makes his money by guilting people during streetside sermons.

Alternating between the plots also serves another purpose, other than just filling in some blanks: It makes the character of Locke -- and the rest of his group -- a little more human, and less of a Robin Hood caricature. He's confident and funny and charming to read about, sure, but we, as readers, also get little glimpses into the gears turning beneath his thin frame, making him less a character in a novel and more of a person you want to follow from adventure to adventure, just to see what happens next, for better or worse.

It's not without its flaws, however. The novel definitely drags a little in the middle as the author greases the wheels for many grand twists to come. Plus, the flashback-present-flashback-present alternating chapter format becomes tiresome near the end, when the action ramps up and -- dang it! -- not more background detail! I want to know what just happened to Locke!

But if you can look past that -- which you should -- then "The Lies of Locke Lamora" is a great read for fans of fantasy novels in general, heist novels especially, or those of you just looking for something different.

Or, if reading's not your thing, then go see "Hellboy II." That was good, too.

The reporter can be reached at 583-2425.

(July 18, 2008)